Have you ever heard the saying “Adulthood is like looking both ways when you cross the street and then getting hit by a plane?” This should be the motto to be in your 20s; at least that's how it has been for me. And I thought as being a teenager was bad.

Everyone expects something from you in your 20s. You're supposed to have your shit together by the time you're out of college, which is ludicrous; entering your 20s is essentially a culture shock because you need to learn how to adapt by yourself after living with your parents for just two decades. You're supposed to know who you want to be and where you want to go in life by the time you're 25. But who makes them “rules?” We shouldn't have to define ourselves in that time period. Will still be such a vulnerable time in each of our lives. Legal adulthood begins when you turn 18, but it doesn't really begin until you're by yourself: paying your own bills, living in your own place, having a job, etc. That age is different for everyone, and is much later for millennials due to the hardships of finding work and costs inflating daily.

No matter the number of condescending remarks you hear from individuals who seemingly have their shit together, you should never worry about these things, especially in your 20s:

When you're going to find your soul mate and obtain married

Only you can decide when you're ready to obtain married. If you have a boyfriend at 23 and therefore are ready to settle down, go for it. If you're still 27 and single, who provides a f*ck. No matter what your friends are doing, or otherwise doing, it's their life, not yours. Life is different for everyone and you shouldn't have to live in a box with other 20-somethings. People mature at different ages, and merely because someone is ready to get married and live happily-ever-after, doesn't mean their friend of the same age is ready for the same thing.

When you're going to have kids

I seem like a lot of people expect kids in the future right after a wedding. It doesn't matter whether you've kids 9 months after the wedding or 9 years after the wedding. I know several people who just wanted to enjoy the married life before they began families, and I know many people who jumped right into having kids. As long as you and your spouse agree with when it's a good time to start, and just how many kids you want, it doesn't matter when you start a family. Don't let outside pressure influence you.

When you're going to find your dream job

I know I'm not the first, and certainly not the final person to tell you that sometimes it takes a while to find a good job. Your idea of a dream job might be stable throughout your lifetime or you could have a new dream every single day, week, month, or year. Your dream job is your fantasy. When you face reality, your dream might seem silly, or it might be something actually want to keep working hard for. However, don't be surprised if your vision changes and also you find yourself happy in a new place doing something you never even thought of doing before.

Being in shape

If you need to worry about what you look like, and if it bothers you that much, only you can change it. If you're not willing to change it, stop worrying about it. This is about the last decade of your life where you will have a semi-decent metabolism (if you were blessed with that). Let me tell ya, I've heard it all goes downhill from here. Eat what you want, work out when you want, and just enjoy life exactly how you want. That's the beauty of life.

One of my biggest pet peeves is hearing someone complain since they are getting older and they don't have a ring on their own finger or their perfect job or perhaps a baby on the way when all their friends had all these “accomplishments” much earlier in life. You're not defined by these things. You're defined by what you choose to do, who you decide to associate with, what you choose to say, and whom you choose to be. And yes, while these three things are huge accomplishments, nothing is much more of an accomplishment than being perfectly quite happy with your life in this moment.