I recently read an article about signs that you are an “overthinker.” (Spoiler alert: I'm one.) The article irritated me since it positioned overthinking as negative. It stressed that people obsess over things, overanalyze every minute in our lives, and drive those around us crazy. And, yes, I'll admit that overthinking can be a very bad thing and can cause all kinds of unnecessary stress and anxiety. There is no need to spend twenty minutes taking into consideration the way a coworker said “good morning” because they walked by. However, I also reason that not all overthinking is bad. There is an important distinction that we need to make-
Sometimes, overthinking is actually deep thinking.
So with respect to everyone who has been told they overthink, overanalyze, or make life too complicated, I pose a different way to look at it-
We want to find meaning in everything.
Yes, this means we tend to analyze the sh*t out what we should say and how we say it – down to the tone of our voices, the look in our eyes, and placement of our hands. But it also means we are paying attention. We are listening. We not just care about what we are saying, but who we all are behind our words. We assume you are deep and deliberate- a person with intention- and that we want to figure you out. Can you prefer that we see you as someone without any meaning behind your words and actions?
We can't let things go.
This one really reaches me. I can't tell you how many times I've been told some form of “You just need to let it go.” Usually that “it” is really a man or a relationship. Well, we can't let people or things go because we want to understand them. For us, there's a reason for every relationship and each interaction, and we need to know what it's. We don't see things as happenstance, bad luck, or coincidence. We view our way of life – and your life – as part of a bigger scheme. There is a bigger game at play, and our relationships have purpose.
So no, we won't let anything go until we fully understand the reason why they exist. But needs out the grander meaning of life this type of bad thing? Is wanting to comprehend the things and people that matter to all of us on the deepest level possible so wrong?
We analyze people.
Constantly, because individuals are fascinating. Everyone has a tale – it is special and unique for them, yet universal at the same time. If you look at anyone closely enough, you will find a connection with them. If you aim to fully understand them – how they think and why they believe that way – you can always find a way to relate. As well as in relating, there is comfort. So yes, we are constantly analyzing you, your mother, your friends, and the person sitting at the table across from us- but that's only because we care.
So yeah, we hate small talk.
We don't care which shows you're watching or your feelings about the weather. Sorry, not sorry that people want to actually get to know you. We want to know your dreams, your beliefs, your fears as well as your thoughts on life. We don't wish to judge you or attempt to change your mind; we hope to understand you. We want to share deep, meaningful conversations about who you are and why. Please show me why that's a bad thing.
Bottom line – we aren't “over” anything. We see the people and world around us as intricate and interesting. So we think, we reflect, and that we analyze- a lot. Some may say that we're “too much,” and that is fine. But we aren't willing to float through life and not give a sh*t about anything. We are here to root out the reasons for our relationships and discover the lessons life throws at us. As overthinkers, our days are full of mysteries to solve, connections to make, and thoughts to explore. You might look at us and think we're making life more difficult, but I argue that we are making it more meaningful.
