It's hard to let go and have the chips fall where they might when you are a hardwired control freak who desperately craves order and possessing tight reins. I crave holding the planet in the palm of my hand and manipulating it to my will. Life never really works that way, though. No matter how hard you attempt, you can't play God. I find myself slowly, yet deliberately, releasing my insatiable need to rule over every moment and just let things be.
With mental illnesses and emotional instability, I've got to let everything just be in my sanity.
Dwelling on the past makes the tears flow down my cheeks; worrying within the future ties my stomach up in knots. There's enough pain within the present, so why drag in what we've left behind or what we can't yet see? By throwing myself into washing dishes or folding laundry, I've found these tiny moments of silence in my head. I close my eyes and relish within the peace that comes in that moment when you've just parked the car or exited public transit. It's easy to allow your mind to become cluttered with noise, but I'm finding ways to turn it off if even momentarily.
Embrace the moments because they unfold but don't miss what's coming next. Let the emotions wash over you but permit them to fade away. Push away nothing, hang on to nothing- let it come, let it go.
With a bachelor's degree I'm not using, and endless hopes and dreams, I'm understanding how to let everything just be.
I can't predict the future or even know what tomorrow brings. Maybe you will see grad school and a big promotion, or maybe there will be dead end jobs and homelessness. I don't possess a crystal ball or visions in my sleep. As I rise every morning, inhaling oxygen and the sunrise, I'm able to only put one foot while watching other and hear the clock ticking within my ear. Whatever the day has in store for me, I'll embrace it entirely.
Walk with purpose but keep in mind messages veiled in your surroundings. Make plans but allow yourself the liberty to freefall when you need it. Breathe in, breath out- allow it to be, let it be.
With constant changes which are beyond my control along with a strong desire for inner peace, it's vital to my existence to just let everything be.
I can't please everyone just like I can't forecast the weather. Everyone has their own baggage to lug around, including me, however i can't possibly carry the load for everyone. I have to simply let heated arguments run their course or allow my favorite friends to make mistakes and fall; I can be there to pick support the pieces with everyone after the smoke rises and the wreckage is within plain sight. Scrapes and bruises stop being painful the less we focus our attention in it, so I'll take everything in stride, remembering there's always sunshine following the rain falls.
Embrace the serenity to accept all that you cannot change and the courage to do the thing you feel you cannot do. Tell people you like them and make room to like yourself. Live, laugh, and love- stay present, don't miss anything.
It's a challenging and painful process to let go of that burning desire to control the universe and manipulate favorable outcomes for ourselves. The reward that we reap is more than worth the effort, though. I'm slowly learning to embrace the moments, to throw caution to the wind, and to just let the chips fall where they may for me. As I learn to let everything be, I've found that inner strength to overcome the storms and better equipped to climb the most difficult of mountains in my journey. It is a lot of crazy and almost a bit zen, but once you begin the process everything kind of just- clicks.
Previously Published on Thought Catalog
Feature Image by Enrico Carcasci on Unsplash
