I met my best friend when I was Ten years old. Throughout elementary school, we became inseparable. I was in the same classes each year and we were together just about every weekend. There was nowhere you’d find me that they wasn’t there. Together, we anticipated high school. We’d get prettier (we hoped), we’d meet more and more people (not that it mattered as long as we had each other), and maybe finally someone may wish to date us.

But I decided to go to a different high school. We were both sad but she understood. On our 8th grade graduation night, i was lined up according to last name and just so happened to be walk-out partners.

When the ceremony ended, we didn’t just walk out side by side, we linked arms and cried our little hearts out because we knew things were about to change.

And change they did. We became busy with our school work and new friends. However, after school in addition to every single weekend, we were reunited. We’d talk so much that it didn’t really appear to be we even went to different schools. We approved (or disapproved) of each other’s boyfriends, we got to understand each other’s friends, and that we remained practically family. I honestly thought there was no chance of us ever not best friends.

High school ended, we graduated and enrolled in college in nearby cities. That summer i was closer than ever and so looking forward to what the future held. But that changed when I moved away. I didn’t know her friends, she didn’t know mine. I rarely knew what she was up to on a Friday night when normally, we would’ve been together.

Then, I made a decision to take a job away from home. After i did see her, I noticed changes in her. She was less open about her life and seemed to care less about mine. The conversations felt like much more of a chore than a natural process.

Soon, I came across she had developed a drug problem, and I’m mad at myself because of not being around to stop it before it started.

When I acquired engaged, I shared the news with her excitedly, but she didn’t appear to care. How could she have? She wasn’t my mate anymore. Knowing what I knew, I didn’t ask her to stay in my wedding. I didn't think it had been something she could handle and that we simply weren't that close anymore. We'd spent over 9 years dreaming about and planning our weddings. She didn’t even attend mine.

My best friend should know how much I love her. However i am mad at her. I am so mad at her because of not talking to me when things got bad. For not knowing that even though I was a long way away and even though my life was changing, I still cared more than anyone in this world. When we were young, it had been her and I against everything and everyone. It always should’ve been this way.

I can’t change what happened. I understand she probably doesn’t even realize how often I think of her and our friendship. But a lot has happened and so much is different. Time has passed and we’re in different places. What’s done is done and that’s OK. But when you’re reading this, just know I miss we love you. You will ALWAYS be my best friend.